Message of the Day for Oct 31, 2006

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up
in the morning, and does not stop until you get to school.

Message of the Day for Oct 30, 2006

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Message of the Day for Oct 29, 2006

When asked the definition of "pi":
The Mathematician:
Pi is the number expressing the relationship between the
circumference of a circle and its diameter.
The Physicist:
Pi is 3.1415927, plus or minus 0.000000005.
The Engineer:
Pi is about 3.

Message of the Day for Oct 28, 2006

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact
mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
- Frank Zappa

Message of the Day for Oct 27, 2006

You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes
you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

Message of the Day for Oct 26, 2006

Hofstadter's Law:
It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
Hofstadter's Law into account.

Message of the Day for Oct 25, 2006

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This
means that only left handed people are in their right mind.

Message of the Day for Oct 24, 2006

If it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
If it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
- A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming

Message of the Day for Oct 23, 2006

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Message of the Day for Oct 22, 2006

"My sense of purpose is gone! I have no idea who I AM!"
"Oh, my God... You've.. You've turned him into a DEMOCRAT!"
-- Doonesbury

Message of the Day for Oct 21, 2006

A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him
what he meant.
-- Wilson Mizner

Message of the Day for Oct 20, 2006

Morton's Law:
If rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer.

Message of the Day for Oct 19, 2006

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet,
challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that
keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents
itself before us slyly and craftily, glib and insinuating, in the modest garb
of innocence. To yield to its blandishments is so easy. The wrong, it seems,
is venial... Then it is that you will be summoned to show the courage of
adventurous youth.
-- Benjamin Cardozo

Message of the Day for Oct 18, 2006

Everything is possible. Pass the word.
-- Rita Mae Brown, "Six of One"

Message of the Day for Oct 17, 2006

I'm definitely not in Omaha!

Message of the Day for Oct 16, 2006

If you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them end to
end, they'd be a lot more comfortable.
-- "Graffiti in the Big Ten"

Message of the Day for Oct 14, 2006

It is a well known fact that warriors and wizards do not get along, because
one side considers the other side to be a collection of bloodthirsty idiots
who can't walk and think at the same time, while the other side is naturally
suspicious of a body of men who mumble a lot and wear long dresses. Oh, say
the wizards, if we're going to be like that, then, what about all those
studded collars and oiled muscles down at the Young Men's Pagan Association?
To which the heroes reply, that's a pretty good allegation from a bunch of
wimpsoes who won't go near a woman on account, can you believe it, of their
mystical power being sort of drained out. Right, say the wizards, that just
about does it, you and your leather posing pouches. Oh yeah, say the the
heroes, why don't you ...
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"

Message of the Day for Oct 13, 2006

I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
-- Phil Harris

Message of the Day for Oct 12, 2006

How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth do they all go to?
-- Sir Arthur Wing Pinero

Message of the Day for Oct 11, 2006

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a
rainy Sunday afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz

Message of the Day for Oct 10, 2006

One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with
Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just
to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't
be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending
to be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand
hat was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was reknowned for
being quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the time, which
obviously worried him, hence the act. He preferred people to be puzzled
rather than contemptuous. This above all appeared to Trillian to be
genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.
-- Douglas Adams, _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_

Message of the Day for Oct 9, 2006

What UNIVERSE is this, please??

Message of the Day for Oct 8, 2006

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
-- Dorothy Parker, "Comment"

Message of the Day for Oct 7, 2006

"Life is like a buffet; it's not good but there's plenty of it."

Message of the Day for Oct 6, 2006

A crow perched himself on a telephone wire. He was going to make a
long-distance caw.

Message of the Day for Oct 5, 2006

Just how difficult it is to write biography can be reckoned by anybody
who sits down and considers just how many people know the real truth
about his or her love affairs.
-- Rebecca West

Message of the Day for Oct 4, 2006

Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

Message of the Day for Oct 3, 2006

Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
"Wait a minute. Aren't you a string?"
"Well, yes, I am."
"Sorry. We don't serve strings here."
The determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by. "Excuse,
me," it said, "would you shred my ends and tie me up like a pretzel?" The
passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar. "May I have a beer,
please?" it asked the bartender.
The barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.
"Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
"No, I'm a frayed knot."

Message of the Day for Oct 2, 2006

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.